fmylife:
Today, my fiancé and I were fooling around when his foreskin ripped and bled all over the place. After a trip to the emergency room, the doctor told us no sex for 6 weeks to let it heal. We’re getting married and going on our honeymoon in 2 weeks. FML
WHAT THE FUCK were these people doing!? How does that even fucking happen? And to mention it so damn casually, like this is the least dangerous thing that could have happened that night. “Oh yeah Betty, Doug and I were just trying out our new sex chainsaw up on the roof when my panda costume got caught on the car battery that was sending 100v of electricity straight to my anus when —wouldn’t you believe it— I accidentally nicked his foreskin with the chainsaw blade! Thank god it was nothing serious; I’d hate to have to explain this to my parents.”