January 2009
224 posts
December 2008
20 posts
In A Perfect World...
There are few jobs aside from my chosen career path that I would be willing to do. I’ve always thought that it would be really fun to work at a dildo store, or be a projectionist at a porno theatre, but then I had no idea that writing reviews on smut was a viable option. Apparently it is, and now I have a new underdog hero: The Porn Reviewer. I know it probably doesn’t sound like a lot...
Mariah Carey An Idiot, Scientists Offended
As far history is concerned, scientists have been fairly passive on the subject of pop culture. It must have taken something majorly, epicly stupid to have caught their attention. Oh, Mariah…
Shut your mouth, open your eyes, lean back and...
Don't say I let you down and I won't say I told...
I have the world’s biggest musical crush on Kevin Quain. Really really. So should you, if you know what’s good for you.
Motel/Hotel
I hate indecisive signage. Today I drove past a motel who’s name I’ve forgotten that pissed me off. The sign went something like “The ________ Inn Motel/Hotel”. The very nature of a motel insists that it is not a hotel, and a hotel is not an inn. Can we please make up our minds? This was in fact an actual motel. A motel, just so you know, is an establishment where access to...
I'm Beginning To Hate Pussy...
Specifically Elviscat, who just decided to pee all over my Amazing Brand New Better-Than-Sex Mattress. Yes, it was so amazing that it needs its own title. And now it’s been sullied with cat pee. Fuck my life, I need a hug.
Let My Tentacles Embrace You
And let my brainmeats ooze all over your eager, waiting face. It will be paramount.